Chelsea

Got a call yesterday…we re-homed her about a year and a half ago only to find out she’d been abandoned and brought into animal protective custody 😞 I’m just happy we got her back! #cat #rescuedcat #icouldntsayno (at Town of Morinville)

icouldntsayno cat rescuedcat

dont-be-the-victim-of-your-life

penceyprepofficial penceyprepofficial

when I was like 9 my neighbors asked me to watch their fish and cat while they went on vacation and I was like “lol k” and while they were gone tHE FUCKING FISH DIED so when they got home I apologized to the mom and she was just like “no need to apologize, I turned the filter off so they would die because they are too much work. You did nothing wrong” and she gave me 20 bucks and that is the story of my first contracted murder

driving-in-the-sampala driving-in-the-sampala

First

Source: gothkids

tayevia

radweirdo asked:

what was the deodorant story bro ??? 👀

snazzyskeletor answered:

Back in 2013 Aimee went to visit lau in London.
They were in a cab on their way to a party but lau got horny so he decided to eat Aimee’s ass. He starts licking her knees and shit trying to be sexy and ends up licking a bunch of deodorant cause she puts that on her legs for some reason. Then he’s all like “OMG Aimee wtf my mouth is so dry imma die spit in my mouth!!!”
So Aimee spits in his mouth and gets real turned on. Then the taxi driver let’s them out at the wrong place and since they found themselves lost in London they just decided to just have sex in an alley.

Source: snazzyskeletor

inter-upted

reakiro

pro tip for bad body image days: look at yourself the way you’d look at a cat. average-sized cat? awww. itty bitty cat? so cute. big fat cat? mcfreakin’ adorable. cat with chubby cheeks? AMAZING. cat with a big soft belly? LOVE IT. cat with scars? MY CHILD. so go out there and strut your stuff like the cool cat you are !!

Source: reakiro

spongebabe-deactivated20180415

butt-grab butt-grab

you know when you’re motivated but like, in the wrong way?? like “i’m ready to do all my laundry and clean the whole apartment and do dishes and vacuum and -” like ok champ that’s great but why don’t we focus on those two projects due monday first

Source: bois-r-us

tayevia

kevinisgod

THE. ENTIRE. VACUUM. CLEANER.

Source: yungstorky

tobiasisacat

danadelions

what catfood commercials make feeding your cat look like: *person comes into the kitchen with a smile* *cat licks its lips* *cat snuggles up to their leg softly while purring*

what feeding your cat is actually like: *cat emits loud shrieking meow in anticipation* *you nearly have a deadly accident because your cat excitedly runs between your legs as you walk to the bowl*

Source: danadelions

riddikulusrebecca

me, watching cutthroat kitchen and licking cheeto dust off my fingers: man, i can't believe this idiot didn't render his duck fat

marley-gang

currentlyonfire

I hate these educational Cat in the Hat things where the Cat in the Hat teaches you shit about, like, healthy food or whatever. The Cat in the Hat is a chaotic neutral home invader whose information is highly questionable at best.

Source: currentlyonfire